• The Obama presidential pre-show is in full swing.  They’ve obviously read my column because the latest press conference was a vast improvement over the first one.  Good idea to cut back on the chorus line staging we saw earlier.  However these appointees need to smile more.  Yes, the news is grim and we want serious people on the job but remember you’re getting jobs while some of us are unemployed.  Next, work on that seal for the podium.  He’s not there yet but how about something like, “Here comes da President”.
• T-Shirt Theater’s “Doors” opened this past weekend.  And although the theme was suicide, the director handled the material with great imagination.  The human airplane was a delight.  I also liked the idea of using the performers as a chorus.  In some of the scenes, they appeared like a host of souls hovering over the main characters.  Just watching this array of fresh-faced young people made the evening memorable.  It’s a wonderful reminder that the world still seems hopeful to them. Just as impressive was to watch them singing old-fashioned songs.  You’re almost convinced that a bicycle built for two is all you’ve ever needed.  And the young fellow with that tremendous leaping ability definitely needs to be hired for Cirque de Solei.
• Don't miss A Christmas in Hulaville at Manoa Valley Theatre.          

No word on whether the showroom production Waikiki Nei will be back on the boards.  The show like the Hawaiian bird may be on the endangered list.  This might be the time to remind the directors that I’m still available to play a sponge.  At least that’s what they had me audition for over a year ago.  By the way, I thought I was brilliant and found the sponge’s sadness as I squeezed myself convincingly.  In addition during the chair improvisation, I evoked none other than the great Moliere as I magically transformed the four-legged beast into a lawn mower.

Yes, you could say I’ve consistently stretched myself as an artist this year.  There was the audition as the grizzled old fisherman for a fast food chain.  I certainly was in the running as senior care administrator for our resident series “Lost”.  Thinking quickly when I was asked to improvise a line, I said, “Grandfather was in the recreation room being sawed in half by the visiting magician”.  (I can’t imagine why I didn’t get the part.)  Of course I wanted to try out for Nixon in the Frost/Nixon play but the part was precast.  Undeterred I found an opening in the Talk Story Festival to perform my original Tricky Dick Christmas Carol.

And when they talk about an actor’s range, I can tell you I was on the range when I read for the part of Donner the reindeer for the upcoming “Reindeer Monologues”.

With the SAG strike looming, union member days are numbered.  But I can assure you; actors know an acting opportunity when they see one.  When the teachers went on strike, I walked the line as Elvis holding a sign that said, “I’m All Struck Up”.

I would like to take this opportunity to apologize to the six other people at Dole Cannery this weekend who had to sit through “Rachel Getting Married”.   I suspect they are the half dozen readers of my blog who went to the film on my recommendation.  Now in my defense, I had not seen the movie and thought with two of my favorite actors in the story, it had to be good.  Wrong!

The film is being hailed as one of the best of the year.  My question is, what year.  I thought I was watching a fairy tale with a rehab sister making life miserable for her family and the older princess sister who had found her Prince Charming.

Let’s start with that rehearsal dinner that looked like it was cast out of the United Nations.  Who has a meal like that with a wireless mike passed around the table?  Of course we all knew Anne Hathaway, just back from 12 Steps, was going to rain on this parade.

When everyone gathered in the kitchen and the future son-in-law and father went mano-a-mano over the dishwasher, they must have been making this up on the spot.  At least Bill Irwin, as the dad, could have juggled the plates but he’s too serious for that now.

I wish one of the songs might have made the least bit sense and added to the plot.  Okay maybe the Jimi Hendrix inspired wedding procession probably fit if we’d all been at Woodstock.

When we reached the reception, clearly the screenwriter had run out of dialogue and we sat through an endless procession of songs and dances.  No wonder Hathaway might be tempted to go off the wagon.

The best thing about the movie was Debra Winger whose distinctive voice was a welcome reminder of what made her a star.  Playing Hathaway’s estranged mother, it seemed Winger would solve this mess.

Manoa Valley Theater did a production of “Tony and Tina’s Wedding” that had to be a lot more fun than this funeral.

Here’s an idea for those failing banks we’re starting to see in the news.  Turn them into theaters like the one I saw in New York.  On my final day in the city, I was racing from one production in midtown to a theater in lower Manhattan.  My theater friends had insisted that the best show was an import from Buenos Aires called “De La Guarda”.

The production, which required an unusually high ceiling, found a home in a former bank building.  The ground floor was removed leaving the height of the interior over 90 feet.  You entered from the rear and walked down into the basement which now served as the stage floor.  Above was a cellophane sky the length of the interior.  Everyone had been told that they would stand for the entire performance.  You could hear the sound of something falling on the cellophane from the other side. Small objects were striking the material as if raindrops were descending.  Suddenly the lower portion of someone’s torso came crashing through the sky and then just as quickly was pulled back.  You realized that each actor was suspended from a grid on an elastic cable and secured in a harness.  As more actors came crashing down, the cellophane was torn apart leaving these incredible human jumping jacks all around.  In an instant, an audience member was grabbed and pulled right off the ground.

The pièce de résistance occurred when the performers appeared to walk along the surface of a wall.  This was accomplished by securing the performer with ropes around the waist.  (You may recall the Chinese athlete who was running along the membrane at the top of the Bird’s Nest.  This feat was certainly inspired by the pioneering work of De La Guarda.)

All and all this show is a good investment with the markets crashing.  These days, a harness would be handy.

Talented T-Shirt Theater is presenting an original drama, “Doors”, on the subject of teen suicide.  The statistics are sobering with suicide being the third leading cause of death among Hawaii’s youth and young adults. The young cast promises to tackle this serious problem with the same sensitivity and life affirming exuberance that has been their trademark.

The performers range in age from 13-20 and work diligently in the after school program learning about the theater.  In addition to writing original scripts, the students act, dance, sing, and manage all the technical aspects of a stage show.

I’ve had the opportunity to see some of the earlier productions of T-Shirt Theater and each time I’ve been impressed by the well rehearsed and unique staging they bring to a host of social issues.  You can always be sure that their irrepressible humor will shine through.

Under the guiding hands of Alliance for Drama Education founders George Kon and Walt Dulaney, you might say there’s Off Off Broadway and then there’s Kalihi!

Showtimes are: Friday, November 21 at 7:30 p.m. and Sunday, November 23 at 4:30.
All performances are at the Farrington High School Auditorium.

The students in the photo are:
Front:  Vaughn Hipol
Back:  Faith Pascua, Jovelle Lanzaderas, Chandera Malang